WEEK 2 (June 1, 2008)

[Author’s note: If this is your first time visiting the UMC blog, you might want to check out the INTRODUCTION first.]

And the winner is…

Alice and the Cooper Gang!

Congratulations you sickos!




 

Ok, so another good turnout for the UMC Deuce. I’d say, compared to this time last year, we had at least 1/3 more people. Also, a new feature this week was DJ Mac, who played a mostly solid set between each band (although one has to wonder about his decision to put Vanilla Ice into the mix).

We had 5 bands playing tonight: Mario Escovedo Experience (also known as MEX), Alice and the Cooper Gang, The King Bees, The Pop Rox, and Good Mojo.

First of all, let me get this disclaimer out there ASAP. I know Mario personally and am familiar with the music of his former band, The Dragons which was a legendary guitar-and-vocals fueled punk band. I had not seen MEX before, but the first thing I noticed when they started playing was that they couldn’t be more different than the Dragons.

This was classic Tex-Mex music. They opened with some pure American country with “Good Hearted Woman” (via Waylon and Willie) but quickly moved into the “Mex” part of Tex-Mex with, “Adios Mexico,” “Hey Baby Que Paso,” then back to the Lone Star State with “Laredo Rose,” by the Texas Tornados, and finishing the night with a rowdy rendition of La Bamba.

In short, great set list.

They nailed the vibe of the songs, the harmonies were solid, and the accordion went a long way to bring home that spicy Mexas flavor they were going for. I thought the guitar solos were lacking Tabasco but overall the set was good.

I will say, however, that their performance is another example of what I call Venue Disconnectivism – which is when a band just does not quite fit the venue in which they are playing and causes a disconnect between the three prongs of the holy trinity of rock concerts which is: 1) performer 2) audience, and 3) venue.

This is nobody’s fault really, but make no mistake, the room is very much a part of the show. The feel and the vibe of the venue are all integral to the performance.

I guess what I’m saying it that if the Ultimate Music Challenge were held in Rose’s Cantina in El Paso, well thing might’ve been very different.

After MEX, came the Alice Cooper tribute band, Alice and the Cooper Gang who, aside from winning the round last night, also wins the award for Lamest Tribute Band Name. To me, “Alice and the Cooper Gang” sounds like a group of keystone bandits run by their goofy aunt Alice who always bungles the robberies.

There are just so many better options:

• Welcome to Our Nightmare
• Billion Dollar Babies
• The Vincent Furnier Experience (Alice’s real name)
• Malice Cooper
• School’s Out
• Fistful of Alice
• Cold Ethyl

Nonetheless, ACG rocked it! I was at the bar getting a drink when I heard the guitar intro to “Schools Out” slicing through the room. I turned just in time to see “Alice” walk on stage in leather pants, top hat, chain belts and drippy, black eye-shadow approach the mike and bust out the song with a fury.

After “School’s Out,” they played, “I’m Eighteen,” “Billion Dollar Babies,” “No More Mr. Nice Guy,” and “Under My Wheels.”

On a side note, the infamous Big Toe was playing in the Cooper Gang. For those who don’t know, Big Toe has no arms. He plays guitar (and bass) with his feet.

With his feet!

That’s awesome! Big Toe’s got his own band and it’s quite good.

But, still, it was the Alice character who stole the show. He liked to take his crutch and twirl it overhead. At one point he pulled out a sword upon which was skewered a bunch of billion dollar Cooper bucks, which he threw into the crowd. Then, unbelievably, he opened a crate and pulled out a real life Burmese python and wrapped it around his neck (true Alice fans will have noticed it wasn’t an albino Burmese – the snake of choice for the real Alice Cooper – but we won’t hold that against him).

ACG really just brought the style and the ‘tude of Alice to Viejas, and even though this was yet another band that does not necessarily fit the venue, they were just too fun and too smoking not to love.

I will say, I was disappointed that they didn’t do “Cold Ethyl,” but in hindsight, can understand why a song that glorifies necrophilia may not be the perfect feel-good casino lounge song.

“We met, last night, making love by the refrigerator light.”

Yeah, um no — best to avoid that one.

When the band was finished the room erupted with a cheer. I’d say, biggest audience response so far this year.

Next came the King Bees.

They were terrible. Sorry.

They had some interesting song choices, including a cover of one of the best Thin Lizzy songs nobody’s ever heard of called, “Cowboy Song,” which would’ve been awesome had the vocalists not had dry, raw sticks of spaghetti where their vocal chords should’ve been.

During the judges comments, I said, “Look guys, it’s a real treat to hear somebody cover a Thin Lizzy song that isn’t, “The Boys are Back in Town” but you guys are in a dire need of a vocalist.”

After that it was Pop Rox, who clearly wins the award for sounding most like their band name. They played Dead or Alive’s “You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)”, and an obscure song by Republica called, “Ready to Go,” and “Jesse’s Girl”, “Take on Me,” and “Vacation” by the GoGos.

The male singer came out in a long, green pastel robe and the female singer in frilly pink bubble gum skirt, black knee-highs and a pink bra under a see through mesh shirt.

They were good but they rushed it, especially “Take on Me,” which they nailed vocally (not easy to do) but were playing it at damn near twice the tempo. Still, the set wasn’t bad at all AND, the pink-skirted lead singer-babe gave me some packets of Pop Rocks afterward in a blatant attempt to sway my vote.

It worked. I scored her a 10 on the “Best Edible Gift Given To a Judge by a Band Member in Order to Sway His Vote,” category.

Incidentally, Pop Rox is an example of a band that was in perfect sync with the room. The vibe really worked to their advantage and, except for the tempo and some minor vocal issues, really gave Alice and his novelty serpent a run for their money.

After that was Good Mojo

Another fine band which also had a connect with the room. They opened (I think) with “I Love Rock and Roll,” followed by a country song I didn’t recognize. The minute the country song began, the dance floor filled with line dancers.

(Which reminds me, I’ve got a question for you country dancers out there: “Wottup with the line dance? It’s the same move over and over and over again. Can somebody please explain the attraction to that dance?)

After the country song, they did Sweet Child of Mine and that’s pretty much where it fell apart for Good Mojo. First of all, that part in the song where Axel goes off vocally, howling and moaning and screaming, “aii-yi-yi=yi” and “where do we go-ooo, sweet chi-i-i-ld of –my-i-i-ine” etc.

Well, listening to the Good Mojo singer sing this part was like listening to the amplification of two Styrofoam cups mating in an alley.

That is not a lightweight vocal part. You have to be a top notch singer to tackle it and even then it’s risky. because you basically have two choices when you sing it: fail miserably and look stupid, or nail it and be the hero.

Secondly, and more importantly, I think it should be illegal for females to sing “Sweet Child O Mine”. With the Exception of the occasional drunken karaoke night, this should be a crime.

Look, I’m not saying that a woman who covers Sweet Child should do serious jail time. I’m not a total sexist jerk. I’m thinking easy time, 3 or 4 months perhaps, plus some community service is all.

Ah but I kid the Good Mojos. They were pretty good. They pulled it back together for their (I think) finale, which was – are you ready for this? – It was a cover of Thin Lizzy’s, “THE BOY’S ARE BACK IN TOWN.” I laughed when they played it, but, it didn’t suck at all.

Edwin Decker
Judge #3
www.edwindecker.com

Thanks to
Steve Covault for letting me use his photo of “Alice Cooper” with the snake around his neck.

[Authors note: apologies to bands I could not find links for. If you have some, send them and I will post.]