At Last, The Finals!

[Author's Note: [Author’s note: If this is your first time visiting the UMC blog, you might want to check out the INTRODUCTION first.]

And the winners are….

Detroit Underground

Anger is a Gift

Monsters of Rock

Alice and the Cooper Gang (which did not win any money, but have won my heart forever, I will never forget you guys).

So, can you believe that show last night? Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow! I am still buzzing on it. Every band just blew me away. Starting with Alice who put on such a performance: so good, so fun, so nutty – the whole time during their set, all I kept thinking was, Well these guys obviously have it in the bag.

Then, MOR came up, and I thought, Oh shit, how am I going to pick between these two bands? Well, whatever, clearly Alice AND Monsters will end up in the top two spots.

But then Anger came on, and I thought . . .

Cut the shit dudes! You can’t honestly expect me to choose between these three bands. Oh well, there’s no doubt that these guys will all place because poor old Detroit Underground doesn’t have a chance in Hell and oh, look, here comes DU now. I sure hope they suck so I won’t feel bad when they lose and… hmm, that riff doesn’t sound so bad, nor that horn arrangement, nor that part, or that, wow, that was good too, and that! – that was really good – and that, and that and, holy fucking shit on a sugar cube, these guys are CRUSHING it!

Damn you Detroit Underground! Damn you all to all-Hell for being so spectacular! And damn you Alice, and Monster, and Anger for making this the hardest decision anyone’s had to make since Metallica decided to cut their hair.

There were just so many goose pimple moments, like when Alice entered the stage by coffin and burst into “Feed my Frankenstein,” and of course, the outrageous finale, with the beheading of Alice. Then there were the myriad of goose pimples for Monsters of Rock – such as on War Pigs – which was unbelievable, and during Anger’s set, when Johnny screamed, “Wake up! Wake up!”; and DU’s unbelievable, original take on “Midnight Hour” – I had some many goose pimples running up and down my arms and legs last night, you would’ve thought we were in a meat locker. In fact, I figured it might be a good idea to use the amount of goose pimples moments (GPMs) each band had given me to determine my picks.

Anyway, before getting to the scoring, I’d like to say a word about Alice and the Cooper Gang. Now, I am not going to sit here and spout the tired cliché of, “There were no losers tonight,” because that’s a kettle of bullshit.

There are always losers. But with 32 thousand dollars on the line, to go so far as to chop off your head and still walk away with nothing except a bloody stump where your neck used to be, well if that ain’t losing then I don’t know what is.

However, I’d like to make a distinction between a “loser” in a competition, and “loser” as in, a state of being. Because, while Alice and the Cooper Gang did not win any money, they are the farthest thing from “losers” I could imagine. These guys put on, no question, the most memorable show of the night. And their performance is engraved in my memory.

When I was on stage announcing the winner last night, and I said, “It breaks my heart that somebody has to lose,” I wasn’t exaggerating. My heart was truly broken. Really, I just loved the Alice Gang so much, it was killing me inside to send them away with nothing, and my innards were bleeding all over the place when I saw them at the side of the stage, waiting anxiously to hear the news, then to see the disappointment in their faces – ugh, that was difficult. Guys, seriously, you were great and I really, really really hope you come back next year.

So, without further adieu, here are the tallies from last night, starting with Crowd Noise (for an explanation on how crowd noise is scored please visit the INTRODUCTION):

Crowd Noise

DU – 121.0

Anger – 120.6

Monsters – 119.6

Alice – 117.1

You may have noticed, this is in direct correlation with the order of the sets (the later your set, the louder the crowd noise), and, in direct correlation to the prize places each of them took – so yes, it’s beginning to seem like your position in the set, especially this late in the game, can be hugely important. As you know, we select it randomly.

Next I’ll break down the judges’ scores for you, minus crowd noise. In other words, who would’ve won if crowd noise was not a factor. And the answer to that question is, we have a tie:

Judges’ Picks – Combined

Anger – 257.5

MOR – 257.5

DU – 255.5

Alice – 242.5

Next, let’s look at individual judge’s scores.

Judges’ picks – Individual

Judge #1) Jaime Valle

MOR – 88

Anger – 85

DU – 84.5

AC – 79

Alternate Judge #2) Alicia Champion

DU – 86

Anger – 86

MOR – 84.5

Alice – 82.5

Judge #3) Edwin Decker

Anger – 86.5 (+ 8 GPM’s)

Mor – 85 (+7.5 GPMs)

DU – 85 (+7 GPM’s)

Alice – 81 (+6 GPMs)

So there you have it. As you can see, it was extraordinarily close, with ties all over the place, and almost no consensus, which seemed to mirror the crowd’s reaction since everybody I spoke with pretty much had different combinations of winners. It was just too close to call and really, honestly, I didn’t want to.

Lastly, I want to say thanks to everybody involved. I was going to rattle off a long list of “thank you” shout outs, but then, realized, that would be a huge mistake because I undoubtedly would forget somebody – somebody important – and that person would feel left out, and then he or she would be sad, which would make me sad, which would make me want to eat ice cream, which would make me fatter, depressing me further and sending me on a drinking binge, after which I would come home and beat my wife, who would divorce me, making me suicidal, then I’d jump of a bridge, and then Colleen and Shaaron would have no one to pick on so it really just wouldn’t be good for anyone. Suffice to say, thanks to everybody involved with this show: Thanks to the stage and sound crew, the bar staff, the management, the bands, the judge’s, the tribe and most of all, thank you – you wacky, crazy, nutty, adorable kooks – YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU!

Oh, and to the people who wished me a happy birthday last night – please click here for a special thank you message.

Edwin Decker
Judge #3
www.edwindecker.com

* Please mark your calendar for September 9 for a very important benefit for a special friend of Ultimate Music Challenge. It’s called “Banding Together for David,” to help our good friend, David Nevin, vocalist for Detroit Underground, who’s been having some serious health issues recently. BTD will be held at Humphreys and will feature Detroit Underground, Ruby and the Red Hots, Haute Flash (of UMC fame) The San Diego Charger Band, and others TBA. For more information, contact Evonne at info@thedetroitunderground.com